Who Needs A Plot When You Have Orgies and Death?
by Jantaka
Summary: A very strange ficcy I wrote, what happens when the boys take Ash out for a bachelor party. **Don't worry, it's not hentai or anything**


Disclaimer: I only own the screwed up ideas, wish I owned those sexay pokemon!

Ma notes: It's been a long time since I've wrote something so here's a very short pointless screwed up fic I wrote last night when I was a little out of it. Despite what the title may make it sound like, this fic doesn't describe anything and contains some swearing but it's not really hentai or anything like that. I guess everyone is around 10 years older now. Reviews?

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Who Needs A Good Plot When You Have Random Orgies and Death:

"Can I take it off now?" 

"Not yet we're almost there." Brock, Tracey, James, Gary, Ritchie and Todd all continued to walk, guiding the blindfolded Ash. 

Tomorrow, Ash was marrying Officer Jenny (the Viridian City Jenny to be exact), and right now they were headed off to have his bachelor party. (How the hell did Ash manage to hook up with Jenny you ask? Let's just say they somehow found themselves naked on a road having sex to the song '(On the Road to Viridian City').

"Okay," Gary grinned once they were inside, "Go ahead." 

Ash pulled off the blindfold and eagerly looked around the dimly lit bar. His eyes opened in surprise, "WTF? This is a strip joint for women and gays, the strippers are men!"

They all turned and glared at James who backed away sweatdropping. "You told me to find a cheap place and I get a 10% discount here since I'm a valued customer!" The strange looks the group was now giving him was interrupted by the curtains to the stage opening. "And now our most popular and best known stripper... Professor Paedophile!" A loud cheer came from the other customers, especially the drooling James and the younger men. A wrinkly bony Professor Oak wearing only a rainbow thong began to dance. 

"Wow, he sure gets around for an ugly old man," commented Ash.

"Must be all the viagra he steals from my sock drawers," Gary replied. 

"We might as well stay here," Ritchie said sitting down at a table, his eyes glued to the stage. Todd began snapping pictures as Tracey excitedly began to sketch his idol. Seeing that there was no way to get their friends to leave, the others agreed also sitting down to order a drink.

After awhile Professor (Paedophile) Oak jumped down from the stage, announcing it was 'Strip Train' time. Everyone ripped off their clothes and got in a line hopping around the room holding on to each other. The group looked at each other, shrugged and quickly got naked to join the fun. 

"What are you doing here???" hissed a surprised Misty who was currently leading the Strip Train with Oak.

"Uh... hi Misty, we were just, umm... Hey look, Tracey's trying to cut in front of you!" 

Misty whirled around furious at Tracey who couldn't get enough of hugging Oak nude. "That's my horny old man!" They began to fight over him causing the whole drunken naked line to fall into a big pile, resulting in multiple orgies. 

Gary and Ash tried to find their own private corner while Todd and Ritchie got to "know each other" a little better. Brock and James confessed their love that they had been hiding for years and let Butch (he had come to the bar with Giovanni) join them for a cosy threesome. Tracey managed to win Professor Oak and showed him he truly was his #1 fan. Heartbroken Misty tripped over someone's dildo landing face first into an orgy with Jessie, Cassidy, Mrs. Ketchum, a few Nurse Joys, Agatha and Lance. 

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**The next morning** 

Officer Jenny stood in her wedding gown waiting for Ash to appear. He was already 15 minutes late and the priest was getting impatient.

"I have to go hitch up three transvestite cousins really soon so if you don't mind---" 

"Jenny!" Ash appeared wearing a tutu and matching pink lipstick, his arm linked with Gary's who wore Victoria Secret underwear and carried a whip.

She blinked hoping this was a side effect from all that crack she had smoked earlier.

"Jenny I can't marry you because I'm pregnant with his child!!!" (Hey I'm the author, it doesn't have to make sense). 

Jenny's eyes flashed furiously. "No!" I won't let you, you stupid queer! You know how much time I wasted screwing you on the road to that retarded song!"

"We love each other and are running off to have a family together and there's nothing you can do about it!" Ash and Gary then began to make out for no apparent reason.

"Nothing I can do about it my ass!" Jenny pulled out her gun and simply blew their heads off. "Well that was fun." She then murdered everyone else at the wedding for the hell of it except her true lesbian lover Giselle. They both jumped into the pile of dead bodies, had wild sex, and lived happily ever after. 

****

THE END 


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